One of my New Year’s resolutions for 2017 was to consciously be more responsible with the hearts I encounter. The first time that thought crossed my mind, I thought it was rather deep if I did say so myself. I even comforted myself by mapping out a plan to be responsible for the hearts of people that I had established relationships with. This left out a vital part of my life, for example, people whose faces I knew because we used the same path to get to class, the cleaning lady at my place, the various people at the counters of the many shops I popped into etc. These were the people I dealt with the most and they deserved to have their hearts nurtured too.
As the saying goes, hurt people hurt people. To the daddyless daughters, for some of you, your story involves a father who was reckless in the manner he handled your heart, even at an age when you couldn’t even realise this, like my own https://deardaddylessdaughter.wordpress.com/about/ . Many other people have stories of people insensitively treating them; be it the boyfriend who cheated, raped or assaulted you, a best friend’s betrayal, promises that were constantly broken or even that person you looked up to who totally messed up in your view.
Every person you encounter has a heart. That’s not rocket science, right? Most of the time, we don’t actually acknowledge this fact. Let me give you a practical example: On the days when that lady you don’t particularly like because of the one time she disagreed with you on a matter you felt passionate about greets you and you give her the side eye so that she knows that you heard her then keep walking, you have treated a heart irresponsibly. These seemingly small actions have adverse effects on people, the obvious one being that they are enough to ruin a person’s day.
The deeper ones relate to the fact that we don’t know people’s back stories. That lady could have once been the little girl whose father stared at the morning paper instead of paying attention to her, then the teenager who had to navigate turbulent years without the guidance of her parents who threw money at her rather than speaking to her about the issues she was facing and currently is the wife who can’t seem to get a word in the conversations with her husband without being ridiculed. This just makes the 5-second actions of you giving her side-eye and walking away another subtraction from the little value she attaches to herself.
All this gets you thinking, right? What if people treated you like they knew your story? Would as many painful encounters feature in it? A positive transformation of one person’s behaviour ultimately leads to a love and kindness revolution.
Be kinder to people because you are responsible for every heart you encounter.